Women and Self Esteem: I Dedicate My Inner Growth to My Mom
Comments(12) 
My mom has been gone for 15 years… I still think of her every day… In fact I carry her in my awareness much of the time, wondering… wondering…
She died about the same time that I began my inner journey of health and wellness.
There are so many things that I would love to talk about with Mom now. I often wonder what she would have thought of some things… We didn’t speak the language of inner growth in our relationship… not because we were resistant to the concepts, more because we hadn’t been exposed to them.
I don’t think she ever had an opportunity to listen to Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Maya Angelou, Marianne Williamsom, Abraham-Hicks, etc. Her world was about raising 6 kids and being the center of our family wheel.
I think Mom left much of her unfinished business unfinished, her unresolved places unresolved. I believe she would have welcomed the journey of inner growth and wellness had the access been there.
Mom would have enjoyed journaling because she loved to write… she would have loved Marianne Williamson and Maya Angelou because she loved to read flowing romantic novels. She would have enjoyed exploring and reflecting because she was brave and curious. She listened to German singers with rich, vibrant voices … she loved the melody in words… I just know she would have loved Abraham-Hicks.
So, for what it’s worth, I made a decision long ago to dedicate my growth as a woman to my Mom… and her Mom and her Mom before her.
I love you Mom, always have, always will…
When I was kid, I fought a lot with my mom. Sometimes I had this silly thought that she didn’t love me as much as my grandmas (being the first granddaughter from both side, I was quite spoiled). Later on, I learned that my mom was so strict so I could be a independent girl and be at my best. She prepared me well.
In my early 30s, I saw her battle with cervixal cancer. She accepted the fact gracefully. Never once she complained or looked down. She was so positive and patiently endured the treatments. This was the time when we grew our special bonding. Then when the doctors declared that she was cleared from her cancer, everybody asked what was her secret to become cancer free. She simply said, “God and my kids are my strength.”.
My mom is an amazing woman. She learned the ingredients of life from her great mother and grandmother then mixed her own to be passed down to me.
I think we don’t have to wait for Mother’s Day or their birthdays to say: “Thank you, Mom. I love you.”
My mom died 16 years ago last month. We never had much of a relationship. She was emotionally, psychologically, and verbally abusive, completely incapable of nurturing.
But I am not a victim. The universe has a plan, and I needed that to make me the person I am supposed to be and to do the work am was put here to do.
After years of denial and trying to pretend that it was all in my head, I came to peace with my lot in life. I am now writing for the self-help market, and in my personal life I am finding many people with pain of their own, whom I have been empowered to help.
I don’t think my mom ever had peace. I think she was tortured with guilt. If I could have chosen a different mom and a different life, I would have; yet making good out of the bad is much more powerful than being given good in the first place.
For that, I can thank my mom.
Thankyou for sharing so honestly… we all have a story… our moms have/had their own story…
Peace and blessings…
Joyce
My mom is by far the most amazing person I’ve ever met, or will ever meet I’m sure.
I am only 21, so I am lucky enough to still have my mom with me. Through these 21 years though, the things she has done for me have been more than extraordinary.
She was my science 10, biology 11 and 12 teacher, so you can bet I learned much about the human body and their tendencies while still in my single to early double digits. At the time I listened but really didn’t understand. Now though, everything that she told me and prepared me for has been so helpful into making me the healthy sexual woman I am today. My mom actually took me to the doctors in grade 10 when I wanted to go on birth control. She had her own opinions but didn’t judge; she sat quietly and knew that I knew what I was doing. I’ve heard that these are the type of appointments woman go to on their own, but that never crossed my mind; she seemed like an obvious person I would want there.
Today, she is more helpful than ever before. I am currently taking a year off from university to battle my depression. She is willingly paying for my rent, food and medication since I am unable to work, because she believes in me and my strength. She still calls me everyday on the phone, and though sometimes annoyed by the constant ringing, I am so lucky to be this close to the one who carried me in her womb for over 9 months.
I have been blessed with the most understanding mother, and for that I am forever grateful.
One of the two sayings my mom said while I was young was “treat people the way you’d like to be treated”. I still say this today to any of my friends who get catty or judgmental. The second saying is “if you have enough energy to kick it, you have enough energy to pick it up” (referring to garbage on the ground). These are sayings though rather different, I will never forget, and I will never forget how beautifully my mom has shaped my world.
Give your mom a big hug for me… I love the kick it-pick it up analogy theory… funny but so true…
I hope you show all this to your mom…
Brightest blessings…
Joyce
My mom was quite the home-based business goddess in the 60s and 70s. She wanted to make her own money (dad provided well, but mom had an independent streak)…AND she did not want to be beholding to another company (Tupperware, Avon, Amway…etc)…so, she got her daycare license, knitted sweaters, washed and ironed other people’s clothes, decorated cakes and catered friend’s parties…all the while she explored her creative abilities…taught herself to sew, paint, sculpt, even roller skate. For her 50th birthday she “bought” herself disco skating lessons.
When she decided to ‘retire’ from her own business adventures and work for the government, she had applied as a file clerk…by the time HR was done interviewing her, she was hired in a management position. She had acquired that much experience! That was a very wise HR Director back in the mid-70s.
When my mother retired from that work, she took up quilting. She designs and hand-sews beautiful quilts that have been appraised in the thousands of dollars…but she does not make a cent from them…she donates them to charity auctions.
This is my mom…and I can clearly see her influence radiating through me.
I am also crazy about my mom, every night we call each other and yak about the silliest of news events, never the serious ones, its a waste of time, we have wonderful conversations, my mom has always been there to talk to to understand anything I have on my mind. Joyce that touched me so much about your mom, I wish you had her there for you right now.. she’d be puffin her chest out over her awesome daughter I tell you!.. anyway love ya joyce ! Sydney
I would do anything to be able to have chats with Mom… to ask the best way to cook a roast, to tell her my latest horse story… just to chat…
enjoy… enjoy… enjoy!!!
Blessings to you both…
Joyce
Your Mom sounds like a remarkable woman… fiercely independent, enterprising and loving… you must have gotten that from her…
Joyce
I miss my mom so much! She has been gone almost two years now. She died from lung cancer which if anyone has been around that it is excruciating. She drove me crazy, but that doesn’t matter now because I’d give anything to have her back. She passed away at my home with the help of hospice, God bless them. Just love your moms no matter how flawed. You only have one and when they’re gone you can’t get them back.
My Mom made me into the person I am today..and I remember the feeling of loathing when I was younger and someone would say ‘you are just like your mom’…..who wants to be just like their Mom? Not I….except of course now that she’s gone…telling me I am just like my Mom is the nicest compliment I could ever receive…my Mom was so giving, so kind, so loving, so accepting, so strong, so beautiful inside and out, so full of life…..I will be blessed if I ever live up to being the person she was……Our journeys are so different…..she almost made it to her 50 wedding anniversary….except that cancer had other plans for her…. I would have been lucky to have made my 25th since I married late, but my ex husband didn’t share that goal….lol…what else can you do but laugh?
She married early and had kids early…except for me, I was the baby a long long while after the other two were grown….she had a strong support system of family, her Mother lived close by (widowed) but was always there to lend an ear or some babysitting time ….I on the other hand would have given anything for my Mom to have been able to have seen my son when he was born…and to have spent time with him….it would have given her so much joy….although the end of my marriage would have caused her so much pain….but I already know she would have gotten past it because that it what women do for each other…from somewhere deep we find the strength to put the things behind us that rock our world with sadness…and we emerge on the other side stronger and wiser with the help of the women in our lives…at least that’s how it works for me…and I know it’s through the grace of having had the mother I had.
Hi Dixie
I can relate not wanting to be like your mom my mother is still here (I now feel very blessed to have had her as mother) However as a rebellious teen I wished for everyone else’s mother but mine!!!
As the youngest of 4 children all the other siblings felt I had no rules but in truth the other 3 had just worn down my parents!!!!Not only did I have the rules of my parents I also had to try and satisfy the rules of 3 other siblings!! I feel my mother has inspired me not to live by others opinions do what feel right!! she didn’t raise us to sit on the back of the bus so to speak!!
I have heard from people who live in my small community Dawson Creek how my mothers independence and financial prowess has inspired them (thanks Pat, Sally & Doug)
Hey Mom I salute you for where you’ve been and where your still going at 70 something your a true inspiration!!!