Positive Living: Growing Up and Telling a New Story
Comments(6) The other day, I had an opportunity to share an experience I had years ago. It’s a juicy story… loaded with imagery and interesting twists and turns. The antagonist in my story is the kind of woman who is just asking to be disliked and
criticized… With each past telling, I would get swept away with righteous indignation and feel victimized all over again.
Looking back , I always felt a bit itchy when I shared that experience… Something about the way I told it seemed sensationalistic and a bit dishonest. I think I struggled with my motives for telling about it in the first place. I really painted the other woman as a troll… and truth be told… she isn’t a troll at all… she… just like me… was doing the best she could with what she had to work with. If I am to be completely honest, I wanted my audience to side with me and not like the other woman.
I guess I’ve grown up…
The other day, when I told the same story, I told it from a completely different perspective. I saw it as a life lesson about being young and tender and easily bruised. None of the old feelings of anger and blame showed up… I felt completely at peace. A life lesson. A teacher and a student.
I wonder if the other woman has evolved too? Has she done her inner work? Is she reaching towards being a better person? Does she remember? Does she wish me peace?
Where ever she is… I have forgiven her, and forgiven myself too for my part… I am free of any negative bond that existed between us… I wish her well on her journey…
That story has a happy ending…
What about you? Have you experienced this type of growth? I would love to hear about it….
I love this story, Joyce! Great, lovely thoughts…
“I wonder if the other woman has evolved too? Has she done her inner work? Is she reaching towards being a better person? Does she remember? Does she wish me peace?”
Who DOESN’T have a situation like that where they could remember your words?? I know I do… XX
Joyce ~ what a beautiful insight in dealing with the past. Thanks so much! I have definitely gone through some similar experiences. I try to remind myself to erase any assumptions I have about why something might have happened and learn from it, rather than telling the story to feed any negative emotions. I also try to limit myself to re-telling a story or experience no more than two or three times, so that I don’t get caught up in needing to be validated. I think that is definitely something I struggle with. I want someone to tell me I was right and it really isn’t necessary.
Thanks for the reminder Joyce! When I tell a story that has negative connotations, I feel . . . “itchy” (I like “itchy”, may I use it?) and later try to analyse what happened. It usually is about something I need to work on. I am constantly evolving, hopefully to a better place. Once again, you’ve given me food for thought.
Boy oh boy! I can always count on you, Joyce! LOL As you know I definitely am in the midst of this type of issue. I kept wondering why this person keeps showing up in my life from so many years ago. I believe that when this happens it is because I need to learn something from the person. I think that she’s here to teach me to be a better person; to learn to save myself from me and my negativity. (Does that make sense?) I don’t need to be victimized. Most days I am doing pretty good with it but other days…. well….I slip up. I have to be vigilant about watching my thoughts and feelings around this person because it can be easy to slip backwards. If I want to continue moving forward I need to do my work. I have enough work on my hands with myself and my life…I don’t need to try to do her work. LOL I need to keep my mind focused. Thanks for the reminder before I start the new day.
Such truth you speak, my friend. In the last month I have been pondering this very thing. I think it may because I am not at work in the midst of other peoples’ lives and I can focus on my own. I am feeling balance these days and it feels wonderful!
Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I will certainly be coming back to your posts.