Positive Living: You Be The Coach… Helping Nancy…

Posted April 20, 2009 * Comments(9)

Nancy is struggling with maintaining a positive attitude in the middle of a negative home environment with the people she loves… she is asking for help…photo_3842_20090123

I would like to offer some thoughts and insight into how the Law of Attraction applies and we’ll take it from there…

Thoughts and Insights:

  • We get what we focus on whether we want it or not… so if the normal environment in our home is negative and we spend a lot of time pushing against each other, we will feel frustrated or angry and vibrate frustrated and angry and attract more to be frustrated and angry about… think > feel > vibrate > attract
  • We cant change anyone else. We all know that… but we need to accept it… we can’t change anyone else, or create in their reality… it is a waste of energy.  bummer eh?
  • No one else can change us or create in our reality either… We are 100% responsible for our personal vibration… If we want to change, we must change what we spend our time thinking about…
  • What would inner peace look like? Just suppose no-one else changes, and just suppose that we choose to stay in the same environment… what would we like to feel like on a daily basis?…. hmmm….
  • What kind of focus would we need in order to feel inner peace? Now that we are deliberately taking our focus off our problems, and the negativity of others, what are we going to put our focus on?
  • The more time we spend working on our self, our positive attitude, our positive self image…. we change… when we change on the inside, things change on the outside…

Ok…. NOW we are getting somewhere…  So… it all comes down to being about me… me… me….

  • My focus, my inner peace…my many blessings…
  • What do I love… what am I grateful for?
  • How spiritually fit am I?
  • What inner work do I need to do?
  • Where is my journal?
  • How do I look after myself?
  • How do I treat me?
  • What do I want?
  • I want to spend time with positive people
  • I want to stop talking about problems, stop giving them attention

So… these are some quick insights to the process of inner peace… In my humble opinion… it really is all about you Nancy… Just take your focus off of the inner peace of others and put it on the inner peace of your self…  see what happens…

You were born to be happy… you deserve to be happy… it is never too late to change your life…

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9 Comments so far

  1. Linda on April 21st, 2009

    Good Morning Joyce,
    It’s like, sometime,I need to be hit over the head. I know that what you say is true, “what we focus on, we attract”. And I also know “practice makes perfect”. . . . . so there must be a reason that I keep falling back into old habits, and negativity comes creeping in.
    I still have so much to learn.
    One thing I know for sure is that having you & your blog as part of my morning routine helps to keep me centered.
    Thank you so much for your friendship and positive energy.
    ~ Linda

  2. Barbara on April 21st, 2009

    I live in the same environment except I just have one person – my partner – to deal with. I’ve come to believe he is deeply committed to being miserable. It can be exhausting being around that energy because its not expressed as a way of getting rid of it. The complainer needs/wants the bad energy. Go figure.
    A couple of things I know (and need to remember):
    1. Two things can’t occupy the same space at the same time so – replace the frustration, hurt feeling with a positive affirmation. Joyce – you’re the Affirmation Queen. What would be a good mantra to use when you’re broadsided by angry negativity?
    2. Use deflection. Deflect the energy like a ninja or martial artist would deflect an attack – take a deep breath, literally turn away physically, “watch” the negative energy flow past you and fill yourself with that positive affirmation.
    3. A more fun one – I go into another room, jump up and down with all my force and swear a few times as a way of pumping that anger out of me. I come back all blissed and relaxed (may not work for everyone)
    Thanks for bringing this one front and centre. A much needed reminder – its like cleaning the water in the aquarium – sometimes I don’t even notice how bad its got.

  3. Kathleen Moon on April 21st, 2009

    My heart goes out to you. I remember going through a very close comparison to your plight now. What I found over time is that when we surrender to ‘letting go’ of another persons happiness, stresses, agonies and soul, we find that in that place peace abides. The word that comes to me for you is to let it “BE”. In the struggle of you, you welcome what you don’t want. In the celebration of you, you welcome what you do want. Take some time to celebrate you. Your joy will overflow and the peace and energy you find inside will flow into the space you occupy.

    My love to you………..

  4. Heather on April 21st, 2009

    http://www.best-self-help-sites.com/anger.html

    Anger is an emotion that shouldn’t be ignored check out this site and see if you can put your finger on it.A happy home takes everyone working together and you can only control your own feelings can your family go to counseling to get back on track

  5. Nicole on April 21st, 2009

    I just want to say YOU ROCK JOYCE!!! I wanna be like you – and i will get there.

  6. Sequoia Elisabeth Carpenter on April 21st, 2009

    “What you resist persists” Carl Yung. This really sums it up. Just make everything OK, and know that everyone is doing there best at all times (esp. YOU). Hold no blame or shame and know that you are a divine child of the Most HIGH. Let go your judgement of positive or negative and just let it BE, as Kathleen so eloquently points out. Joyce covers this question beautifully so not much else needs me said! Know that you are Loved dear Nancy in ways you cannot even imagine know. Not knowing is the first step in creation… Blessings of Love and Peace, Sequoia

  7. nancy on April 21st, 2009

    Thank you so much!! I truly appreciate it all! I am trying to learn to let things “be” & let it go to the higher powers. I realize that I put it out there only to grab it back again. I am going to keep going back to these posts until it becomes first nature for me!! Thank you again everyone!!

  8. Chris on April 22nd, 2009

    Also, if we keep in mind that every emotion is either based around fear or love and recognize that the anger is really “fear” we may have a little easier time just allowing it to be without us trying to change it. :-)

    I am so glad I have found this group! :-)

  9. Susie on April 22nd, 2009

    Hey Nancy: I am past that point in my life now, but do remember it so well. I felt like I was constantly being pulled between my husband and my daughter, my emotions were out of control. I was totally reacting to everything outside and, at that time, not really in touch with my faith and my inner self. I wish I could tell you how I was able to gain control back then, but I didn’t. But in hindsight, which is always so clear, I would have taken some time each morning to remind myself of all of the things I was blessed with and that each day is a new beginning and we can control are thoughts and feelings. I know it’s a tough challenge to stay with that mindset throughout the day. My daughter is now 31 and she now appreciates me and has thanked me for the mother that I was! Keep the faith and check in with yourself throughout the day. Good luck with everything.