Joyce Lee Life Coaching Moment

I was a queen in the kingdom of Emotional Turmoil.

Emotional Turmoil:  a recovery term meaning

• the junk talk of your Inner Critic,
• the sinking feeling in your heart that something is wrong
• the constant unrest inside,
• the going over and over and over your problems
• the monkey on your back
• waking up feeling uneasy
• physical symptoms associated with emotional causes (blood pressure, stress, anxiety etc…)

Oh… I knew these well… my inner self was in turmoil although I had many, many blessings in my life…  there was a disconnect between my blessings and my feelings of self worth and esteem.

If you identify yourself as having Emotional Turmoil, please know that you can change… you probably have some inner personal growth work to do:

• cleaning up the debris from your past
• forgiving who needs to be forgiven, even your Self
• quitting any whining and victim behaviors
• resolving what needs to be resolved
• taking responsibility for the quality of your life
• getting out of the passenger’s seat and sitting behind the driver’s wheel of your life
• intending to claim your power
• doing your work
• deciding that you came here to be happy because it’s waiting for you
• asking for help…
• educating yourself in the language of personal development

Taking my head out of the sand, gathering up my courage and finding the willingness to experience a new way of living my life was a huge challenge… no doubt about it… but I did it… many women I know did it and many are doing it right now…

So, if this resonates with you and you know that feeling of inner turmoil… and are at the crossroads of doing what you have always done or rolling your sleeves up and doing it differently… know that you don’t have to do it alone… everyone can benefit from help…

I don’t usually promote my private coaching but in this case, I invite you to contact me if you want support getting started on your path of change… I have developed several ways to coach/support clients.  Helping women refocus and start waking up happy by using the Law of Attraction is my specialty…  my email is info@joyceleelifecoach.com

Life is supposed to be joyful… it is a complete waste of time to suffer…

Wishing you wellness… inner and outer… today and always…

Joyce

The Law of Attraction states that you get what you focus on whether you want it or not.

Ever notice how the more we ’stew’ about a problem, the more we stay stuck in it, and once we start to think solution, possibilities, we become unstuck?  It took me years and years to figure this out…

I spent years yearning for a slim body but focused on everything I didn’t like about my obese body…

If we continue to keep our attention on what we don’t want or like, we are essentially sending out a universal invitation for more of the same.

• I couldn’t attract slim when focused on fat
• We can’t attract abundance if we are focused on lack.
• We  can’t attract wellness if we are focused on illness.
• We  can’t attract happiness if we are focused on feeling bad.
• We  can’t attract inner peace if we are focused on criticism and blame.

So, what are you focused on today?  This moment?  Is your focus going to bring you what you want?

All positive change begins with a positive shift in perspective.

• What do we want?
• How would it feel to get what we want?

Don’t do things bass ackwards… you won’t like what you keep manifesting…

Sometimes I get taken aback by the bigness of people’s lives and the struggles they face on a daily basis.  How do you use the Law of Attraction when you are in the middle of a difficult reality?… How do you change when you are limited by circumstances beyond your control?  Where is the hope when things seem hopeless?

Lisa sent this reply to my last post entitled Thoughts on Food and Food for Thought.  I am going to offer this to our counsel of loving, strong and wise women and we will wrap Lisa in our loving support.  No one is alone… all you have to do is reach out… there are women all over the world who have your best in their hearts…

Lisa wrote:

“I had a horrible car accident not my fault 2 yrs ago, the culprit died with  no insurance  nothing,,I have tried to survive after being out of work for 9 months raising 3 small children, with a deadbeat dad..I am struggling trying to feed everyone,and macaroni and cheese is our food…I am very depressed, cannot excercise because of metal rods in my legs and crushed foot..my weight is now 275 lbs or so..I am so so depressed, please can anyone lift me up ?…and give me a boost ?..I work 12 hours shift at a hospital (unit clerk)…thank you..”

I’ll go first:

Good morning Lisa… first of all, thankyou for having the courage to share your story with us.  It can’t be easy to get up every day and do what you need to do for your children when you are feeling so heavily burdened… Here’s a hug to start this day… (((((((Lisa/Joyce)))))).

I don’t have your answers, but I want to share what I know from my own experiences and from what others have shared with me.  You have told us:

• You have small children to raise until they are adults
• You have physical limitations on what you are able to do

So… when a situation is what a situation is… the question becomes how are you going to walk through it?  As a woman of power or as a woman who sees herself as a victim?  There is a huge difference in the perspectives…

• Those girls could have lost you completely… thank the Powers That Be, that you are still here to model how to be a strong woman.  That’s your job description.  Whether it’s fair or not… you need to reclaim your power for both your sake and for theirs too… they are watching you.
• There are always small steps that can be taken that will feel empowering.  I am not going to tell you what to do but I will ask… what do you do/can you do on a daily basis that moves you forward?  What are your internal resources?
• There are external resources available to help with self esteem issues… for starters I recommend an online support group for your weight/health issues… it only takes a minute to check in online let someone reach out and hold your hand.  Go to Yahoo Groups and look at the huge lists… find one that is speaking your language… and connect. (I used to be as heavy if not heavier than you are now, and I have been connected to my online support group for 10 years or so… I still connect at least 5 times a week, it’s how I stay well)

Lisa, I am sending you unconditional love today… I will light a candle for you and hope that you keep reaching deep within yourself to that place of power and put your focus on strength and growth and happy…

Because what I know is this:

Change the inside and the outside has to change to keep up…

Brightest Blessings to you.

Joyce

I think the friendships I hold near and dear to my heart help to define me. I have heard it said that we are the average of the 5 friends we spend the most time with.  I really thought about that…

I love the 5 friends that I spend the most time with and am proud to be the average of them…

Friendships are like tapestries… woven of individual strands of texture and color, they show us the quality of our self esteem and self confidence.  Friends should bring out the best in us and we should help them glow as well…

The picture was taken at my 50th birthday party last year… these are some of my closest women friends… smart, confident and fun women (that’s me with my smart, confident and fun horse nibbling my hat:)) … I am honored to be their friend…

• Have you ever asked your friends how they would describe you?
• Are you aware of the roles each of you play in the relationship?
• What do you bring to the table?

If you want to read the complete article I wrote on this topic  make sure you are subscribed to Notes to Self, my bi-weekly newsletter… there is a little sign up box right here on this page… the issue comes out tomorrow, May 12…

In friendship…

How many partially read ‘self-improvement’ books do you own, how many journals have you started only to put down and not pick up again?

I have come to realize that on the days I consciously spend time on prayer, some form of meditation and personal reflection, I feel good.  On the days that I neglect my inner peace, I don’t feel as great.  I don’t have the same grounding, the same focus… I become focused on what is happening ‘out there’ rather than ‘in here‘.

Just as staying fit physically requires determination and discipline, so too does staying spiritually and emotionally fit.  Very little is gained if you approach either on a haphazard basis.

“Regular” means habitual, routine, normal, established.  Like any lifestyle change, the best way to approach your inner work, is to keep it simple and to keep doing it.

You really don’t need to own every self-help book on the market all at once.  Keep it about quality rather than quantity… better one or two dearly loved and deeply relevant volumes with bookmarks, dog ears, highlighter and notes all over than dozens and dozens of books that have barely been glanced at…Read only those that truly resonate with you, put a ribbon around the others and either give them away or put them on a shelf and just let them be.  Keep it simple and keep it powerful.

Allow your journal to be a companion for daily self-reflection and exploration.  Create a beautiful space and a quiet time for this wonderful journey.

Make your inner journey enjoyable… it is enjoyable… you deserve quality time with yourself… the more connected you feel with your self, the richer your ‘out there’ experience will be…

trust me on this…

Criticism, blame, judgment, gossip, telling victim stories, jealousy, resentment, worry, doubt…

I used to be a woman who used all of these behaviors in a misguided attempt to feel better about myself.  I felt superior when I criticized, blamed, judged or gossiped.  I needed to feel superior to cover up my own inner turmoil and low self esteem.  Shining the spotlight on someone else’s shortcomings took the spotlight off my own.  Or so I thought at the time…

Here’s the thing:

These behaviors vibrate at a low level and will attract life experiences that also vibrate at a low level…   Many women are habituated in one or two or several of them.  The more you practice these, the more comfortable they become and you will default to them when you aren’t aware of it.

You run the risk of becoming a woman who:

• is quick to criticize and find fault
• finds it easier to blame than take responsibility
• justifies talking behind someone else’s back
• tells stories with the theme of  “what he/she did to me”
• resents someone else getting ahead
• loses sleep over worry
• has compromised health due to stress

How does it feel when you are in criticism? When you are blaming?  When you are gossiping about someone behind their back?  When you are going over your problems yet again?  How does your jealousy and resentment sit in your heart?  I already know the answer… there is a disconnect with who you really are when you do these things… it is not natural to be negative.

No one can move forward in happiness and joy while participating in these negative behaviors.  Peace of mind is not created out of turmoil.

The Law of Attraction is going to send you more of what you send out.

But… the wonderful news…

Behaviors are changeable.  You absolutely can decide to stop criticizing, gossiping (even if it’s juicy), judging, resenting, worrying, doubting and on and on…  Stop telling stories that can be summed up by “What she/he did to me”.

Start practicing acceptance, holding your tongue, courage, faith and trust.  Start talking about what you want for yourself.  Start tell stories about your dreams and creativity.

Replace the negative with positives and watch your moments, your days, weeks and life blossom… it’s the only way….

Hmmmm…. what should I attract today?  Should I attract worry?  If I want that, maybe I should listen to the news all day… let it sink in… yup, that would do it… I would get bummed out…

Should I attract pissy?  If I want to do that, maybe I could talk to people about how bad things are going in the world right now… I could share some of the stories that made me worried when I listened to the news… yeah… that would work…

Naaaa…. I think I’ll go with happy instead… I’ll notice what is right in my world…See what happens…

• the sun is shining
• the geese have returned, welcome… welcome…
• I have a lovely home filled with conveniences and comfort
• I have a strong and supportive life partner who loves me
• I am deeply connected to my Higher Power
• My pantry is filled with nourishing foods
• My riding season has arrived
  
• I have the freedom to go anywhere I want today
• My friends and family are grounded and healthy
• I have abundance to share
• I have lots of inspiration to create beauty
• My underwear drawer is full
• I am inspired to make a difference in the world
• My heart is open and loving

Hmmm… I wonder what I will attract today?

I will get what I focus on whether I want it or not…

think > feel > vibrate > attract.

And you?  Are you taking responsibility for your attraction today?