Joyce Lee Life Coaching Moment

I remember when my Mom used to get all us kids cleaned up and in our best clothes when there was a special occasion.  The term was “all dolled up”

The older I get, the more often I gift myself with that special consideration any day of the week, for no reason at all except that I feel good when I tend lovingly to my body/temple and my self and my daily experience.  It takes so little but it pays huge dividends.

Whether I am wearing jogging clothes or crisp ironed shirts:

• I wear great underwear
• I try to keep my hair updated and fresh
• I’ll put on eyeliner (it’s the only makeup I wear)
• I take my vitamins/supplements every day
• I exercise

Whether we are eating a beautiful Sunday dinner or left overs on a week day:

• I light a candle and set the table with place mats and cloth napkins for every meal
• I sit down to eat without distractions
• I practice gratitude and mindfulness for the abundance and quality of food

I am looking forward to hearing what you do to get “all dolled up” in your everyday life… I know you have a lot of expertise and great ideas…

Joyce

The women who come to me for coaching generally have one thing in common.  They realize that they are packing around old emotional baggage and it is negatively affecting the quality of their lives.

How do you know when you are the owner of emotional baggage?  Some possible clues:

• If other people push your buttons… you have the buttons… you have baggage
• If you are angry a lot… you have baggage
• If you cry a lot… you have baggage
• If you feel sorry for yourself…. you have baggage
• If you hold grudges… you have baggage
• If you have resentments… you have baggage
• If you have addictions… you have baggage
• If you feel bad about yourself… you have baggage
• If you have a critical nature… you have baggage

Let’s see… have I left anyone out?  lol… the point is… Baggage is a by-product of growing up… we are imperfect humans, being raised by imperfect humans in an imperfect world.

I have certainly owned my share of emotional baggage in my life.  My suitcases were crammed with stuff that was passed down from my parents… stuff that I had picked up along the way… it was old, it was negative and it was very heavy…

But… and this is the Big But… I opened all the suitcases… inventoried every item… appraised it’s value… trashed what was junk… fixed what was broken… handed back what didn’t even belong to me… and lightened my load…

That’s my definition of personal work… “Doing an Inventory and Doing the Clean Up.”

Note: Dr. Christiane Northrop said in general that the women who struggle a lot emotionally with PMS and Menopause are the ones with unresolved emotional issues.  She says that the hormonal changes that happen at these times in a woman’s life amplify the emotional impact of the issues. The more emotionally clear women are the less they tend to struggle. I agree… based on my own experience and that of the women I support.

I would love you thoughts and feedback.

As always,

Joyce

Let me know if you need some help.  I have walked this path myself and walked beside many others as well.

Contact Joyce

The wheel of the year has turned yet again, and the days are getting noticeably shorter. 2009 is more than half over.

The older I get, the more precious time is, and the more intent I become on living my life to it’s fullest.  I want to be happy, I see anything other than happiness a complete waste of my beautiful life. 

On that note, I would like to present you with a coaching challenge.

Remember to do this in a spirit of celebration, let go of the outcome, and just enjoy the process…

Challenge:

Take the time to sit today with a cup of tea and your journal and create a list of your highlights from the first half of 2009.

• What did you accomplish?
• Who did you love?
• What brought you joy?
• What did you learn?
• How did you grow?
• What were your special moments?

Take the time to look back with love… keep these snippets of “feel – good” energy close to you, think of them often.

Advanced Challenge: Up the voltage on the good energy.

If you really want to invite more goodness into your circumstances, pass this challenge to other select folks in you life.   Make it a point to talk about these loving things when you visit…

• What you think is what you feel
• What you feel is what you vibrate
• What you vibrate is what you attract

Take time to think about the love you have and share…

Use the Law of Attraction to invite more and more reasons to celebrate into your reality.

Isn’t it great how this works?

Peace and Love,

Joyce

For some reason, I had a grumpy day yesterday… could be hormones (smack dab in the middle of menopause), could be the weather (cold, rainy, dark grey day), could be… could be… could be…

What ever the cause… the result was one ‘grumpy’ Joyce… the storm clouds had gathered in my attitude and I saw everything through the lens of grump…

Circumstances that would normally not even be a bump in my usual cheerful path, were causing me to stub my toe… I felt itchy all day…

Now… knowing what I know about focusing on the negative and inviting more in to feel negative about… I pulled a couple of tools from my vast Law of Attraction tool kit and limply waved them around… but I wasn’t in the mood to be cheered up…

My mood wasn’t due to anything serious… I knew that ‘this too shall pass‘… so I just kept my mouth closed for containment.  I wasn’t about to make it worse and have anyone else affected by it.  That is one of the most common mistakes people make.  They inflict upon others.  If you take nothing else away from this story… that is the nugget… Don’t inflict your grumpy mood on anyone else!

Instead, I chose to take care of myself.

• I had a nap on the couch after dinner
• I chose to let the answering machine handle a couple of calls from friends (I wouldn’t have been good company anyway)
• I had a bath
• I went to bed early

The result:

I had a great sleep, today brought a blue sky, I feel refreshed, no harm was done… and no one is the wiser… I have another tool in my toolkit…

The moral of the story:

“Sometimes a grumpy day is just a grumpy day”… no big deal… it feels lousy to be in the middle of one, but they often sort themselves out if they are just left alone.

Own it… take care of yourself and let it go…

However… If there is one after another after another… that’s different… something needs to change, to be resolved…

If you are having grumpy day after grumpy day and want help creating changes… Contact me… I can help you with your tool kit…

Wishing you a lovely day…

Joyce

Good Morning,

I was talking to my good friend yesterday about her struggles with her Mom.  For her own reasons, Mom is highly critical and unnaccepting of my friend.  I have known this friend for almost 15 years and she is bright, accomplished, talented and kind… the kind of daughter I would be proud to have…

My friend’s Mom obviously has her own emotional buttons and baggage that she needs to deal with, however, looking down the road, there doesn’t seem to be any indication that she intends to do any inner work.  My friend just keeps looking for tools to help reach a healthy relationship with her unhealthy Mother…

I know women who are bright, talented, accomplished and loving who:

• really struggle with negative body images
• have eating disorders (various forms)
• drink too much (some to dull the pain, some to dull the passion)
• are control freaks
• have various addictions
• pick lousy partners
• have childish behaviors
• have lives and relationships fraught with conflict

I could go on and on…

What I’ve noticed is this:  We all seem to have one sponsoring issue that weaves itself though our lives…often the origins are deeper than the issue…

For instance:

• My own eating disorder (issue) evolved as a way to cope with the turmoil in my growing up
• A woman may drink too much as a way to numb herself to the disappointment she has in her heart for the lifestyle she feels trapped in
• The control freak may need to have everything perfect in order to feel safe.  Her childhood was chaotic, unpredictable and she never felt safe.  She overcompensates by micro-managing everything and everyone around her
• The woman who picks lousy partners has her own story to tell. Her behavior makes sense too
• The woman who behaves like a child, had an emotional trauma when she was young and got stuck

We are all the logical by-product of our circumstances.  Can we change if we want to?  Absolutely.  My own eating disorder doesn’t run my life anymore.  I’ve done my work… My friend who is a control freak is doing her inner work to trust the universe and loosen her corset a bit… The woman who picks lousy partners is staying out of relationships while she grows her own loving relationship with herself…

So, the moral to this writing is… it’s ok to have issues… we all do… find a non-shaming person or group that allows you to own your story and take responsibility for doing your inner work.  Then like Nike says:  “Just Do It”

Some women never do get around to doing their inner work, to healing, forgiving, changing… some women never access the culture and language of change… that’s their right… we can’t create in someone else’s reality.

“Bless them… change me”  My evolution is my responsibility, yours is yours…

So… what’s your issue?

Note:

If this opens a pocket of awareness for you that seems too big to face alone… I just want you to know, I can help you.  I have years of experience with my own inner work and supporting others in planning theirs.  I can help you make sense of your baggage, plan your path and inner work, walk beside you as you do do your inner work, hold your hand or point you in the right direction if you need support beyond my skills.

If you want to talk to me about specific life issue coaching go to:   http://joyceleelifecoach.com/contact/

Brightest Blessings to you on your path… you are obviously taking responsibility for your happiness or you wouldn’t be reading this… ))

Joyce