Joyce Lee Life Coaching Moment

I think every woman needs to be mindful of her Inner Little Girl.  We all have one… she is with us always… she shows up all over the place.

I hope you read the article I published in Notes To Self on Tuesday, September 29.  5 Things You Need To Know About Your Inner Little Girl

Where does you Inner Little Girl show up?

Mine shows up:

• In my creative times… she love to create
• When someone pushes my buttons… she wants to push back
• When my feelings are hurt… she is extremely sensitive
• Around animals… Ellie Mae Klampett at heart…
• Struggled with issues around Dad… needed to resolve and heal

After years and years of personal growth work, I am on wonderful terms with my Inner Little Girl.  I am mindful of her presence and encourage her expression where appropriate.  However,  my adult self handles my adult matters now…

What about you?  What have you discovered about your Inner Little Girl?

Please leave a comment for others to enjoy and benefit from…

Brightest blessings

Joyce  (all aspects of me)

I was looking at some family photos the other day and was struck by my physical resemblance to a grandmother I had never met.  A woman with the same strong face and body type.  It made me realize how much I physically take after my father’s side of the family while other siblings resemble my mother’s.

We are a living legacy to our ancestors.  Our Aunt Elizabeth’s dimple, Great Grandmas thick curly hair,  Nana’s strong hands, Mom’s beautiful eyes and easy laughter…

One of my daydreams involves walking past a field in Eastern Europe a few hundred years ago, seeing a woman bent over harvesting something, calling her name and when she looks up… seeing my own face.  I am the sum of the women  who walked before me… the face I see in the mirror is a reflection of the woman who are/were my mothers…

I am proud to stand as the woman I am… the woman of my line…

Look at yourself in the mirror and see your lineage.  Who do you see?  When I look at you and get to know you… who are the women behind you?

Good Morning,

Are you sick and tired of the mind games the scale plays with you?

This is a companion post to my article titled  “Two Reasons To Put The Scale Away” published in the latest issue of Notes to Self, my newsletter for self aware women.

In the article, I suggest:

1. Many women have an unhealthy relationship with a hunk of metal known as a weight scale.
2. Too much power can be given to the numbers on the scale.
   

   good girl or bad girl

3. Self worth does not come from the scale.
4. Removing the scale from it’s pedestal can be a self-loving action.

Do you have a story or perspective to share about your relationship with the scale?

Please leave your story,  your comments on my article, your supportive feedback for the other women who are sharing here.

If by chance you are not subscribed to Notes to Self, you can still sign up now and I will make sure you receive your own copy with the article.  Just click Notes to Self to sign up.

Remember:

• we are beautiful and worthy just because we are
• numbers are just numbers
• enduring change needs to come from a spirit of self love and approval
• subjecting our selves to constant weighing can be damaging to our esteem

I’m looking forward to your shares…

“I love and approve of myself unconditionally…”

Good Morning,

I like to imagine myself standing in the center of the wheel of my life.  I envision a strand of soft, fine, golden silk connecting me to each aspect of my life.

My ideal is smooth, soft and strong connections… If and when I notice a knot, or kink or fray in one of the strands, it is an indication to me that I need to attend and do what I can to return the connection to harmony and peace and flowing energy.

What about when a situation is beyond our control?

I was talking to a good friend about this and the topic of how best to deal with a negative person or circumstance that is beyond our control…

My friend Tara,  (little yoda that she is…) said… “Well… all we can do is make sure that our side of the strand is clear… if there is knots, let them be on  the other end”…  that was the perfect addition to my life metaphor… at the very least, keeping my side of the strand smooth and strong and flowing…  accepting that I have no control over the other end…

So for example…  if I have a person in my life that is important to me, yet for whatever reasons, she/he is problematic, the only thing I can do is have healthy boundaries, clear communications and make sure I am in a place of personal integrity.  Be my best, expect the best, and let go of the outcome.

What do you think?  Does this metaphor work for you?  Are your strands of silk lovely and clear and smooth and strong and fine and golden?

Please leave your comments for others to enjoy and respond…

Joyce

Good Morning…

I have been talking with my clients about focus.  Personally, I have become extremely conscientious about the quality of my focus… the quality of  my energy… the quality of my life.

The following is a condensed version of a tongue and cheek article I wrote about energy.  I hope you enjoy it…

Here’s a thought to wake you up….

Think of the universe giving you a large sum, say…. $500.00 ‘Energy Bucks’ each morning to do with whatever you want…  yippee!

But… just like interest payments on money you owe… it costs you ‘Energy Bucks Interest’ to carry forward old ‘energy debt’

Let’s pretend that the Energy Buck Interest payments are:

• old resentments or grudges - $75 a day
• negative thinking/focus $100 a day
• unfinished business $75.00 a day
• criticism or cynicism  $50.00 a day
• worry, fear, doubt  $150 a day…

You could be almost broke before you even get out of bed… sobering isn’t it?

Here’s the thing… the energy bucks you spend by focusing on old and limiting thoughts, are energy bucks that you don’t have access to for other more enjoyable experiences.  You can’t have a negative focus and expect a positive outcome… it just doesn’t work that way…

If you only have a portion of your potential energy available to you… it stands to reason that your:

• spouse is getting short changed
• children get short changed
• work
• self care
• friends etc…

You get the picture…  consider the old saying… “You can’t give what you don’t have”

The only way to have complete access to all your potential energy bucks is to do what it takes to free yourself from bad energy debt… do your inner work, be intentional…

I would love to hear your thoughts… leave a comment for the benefit of others…

Peace and abundance

Joyce

As a solopreneur of not just one but two businesses, I can easily work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week working for and growing the businesses and I often do…

But it occurred to me, that under all the projects and busyness… my life is beautifully and intentionally simple and I love it that way…

For instance:

• I work from my home and go to town only twice a week.  I can take my ‘office’ (laptop) out onto the patio and work overlooking my horses, a pond while listening to the birds… simple
• I have a beautiful and simple food plan… unprocessed, whole, fresh foods… by the time grocery day rolls around, my fridge is empty… we only buy what we eat… simple…
• We walk almost every morning… simple…
• I let the answering machine pick up when I have my nap… simple… have a quiet house for a good portion of the day… radio off, TV off, music off… just quiet… simple…
• I am less and less attached to ’stuff’… less to dust… simple… I gave away my cookbook collection, my angel collection, ornaments… buying much less of what I merely “want” in favor for what I “need”  (still struggle with this in horse tack stores and bead stores… lol)

What about you?  Where have you simplified… Where would you like to simplify?

Wishing you enough…

Joyce

I recently attended a wedding for a family member. The wedding was attended by people I hadn’t seen in decades. I admit to needing gentle reminders of names with more than a few. Time had been kind to some and not so kind to others…

The thing that really struck me though, was the tendency of many women to immediately start self criticizing as soon as they greeted me.

“Oy vey… women can be soo hard on themselves sometimes.”

• Pointing out the signs of aging as if it was a crime
• Apologizing for their looks
  
• Minimizing accomplishments

As an avid ‘people-watcher’ and amateur sociologist, I created 2 general categories of women at the wedding.

1. Those who move through their life with self confidence, grace and poise
2. Those who do not

Both groups show it in everything from the clothes they choose, the way they walk, dance, laugh, interact and eat.

The experience gave me an opportunity to reflect on my own self confidence.  Being a typical middle aged woman in the ‘looks’ department, with my fair share of wrinkles, love handles and pesky unwanted chin hair (lol),  I  move through my life with confidence, grace and poise.

• I walk tall and freely… I love the way my body feels when I move, whether outside leading a horse or across a dance floor… I feel good… (shoes notwithstanding…)
• I wore a lovely lime green embroidered middle eastern sheer blouse with a  bright pink camisole… I felt exotic and mysterious… (gotta like that eh?)
• I chose simple food from the buffet that closely resembled the foods I normally eat,  and passed on the rest… (why… why… does so much have to be swimming in sauce… ewww)
• I love dancing (two stepping) with my wonderful husband… (hold me closer… mmm…)

I realized that wherever we go, we take ourselves with us…  My self confidence has come from all the personal work I have done to resolve and let go of my baggage and embrace my authentic power and beauty…  the confidence starts on the inside… and the outside reflects that…  (it’s an energy thing…)

I would love your thoughts on this…  where do you think power and poise and grace come from?

I find hands fascinating…

In my work as a life coach and as a jeweler, I have the occasion to touch and hold many woman’s hands and scrutinize my own in the process.

I think a lot can be learned about a woman from her hands.

• How soft & smooth are they?
• Synthetic nails? Bling? Manicured? Polished? Nail Art?
• Long or short nails?
• Working hands?  Cuts, broken nails, rough skin?
• How are the hands used in communication and self expression?

I have often lamented how raggedy my hands are most of the time.

• Broken nails from putting saddles on horses, hooking up horse trailers, working with wire for jewelry
• Calluses where I hold my pliers
• Cuts, scrapes and burns from wire and tools
• Rough skin from all the horse stuff and wire stuff and gardening stuff
• A touch of tendonitis from the thousands of pieces of jewelry I have twisted
• Dry skin from constant scrubbing requiring copious amounts of hand cream

My lifestyle requires a lot from my hands and they serve well.  They tell a lot of my story. I guess, raggedy as they are…  I like them.

Pretty they most certainly are not.  Strong and capable they most certainly are.

My hands touch and create much beauty… does it get much better than that?

What do your hands say about you?

A whole other topic is the quality of a woman’s handshake.  That really tells a story about a woman’s self confidence… I’ll save that for another blog post…

I remember when my Mom used to get all us kids cleaned up and in our best clothes when there was a special occasion.  The term was “all dolled up”

The older I get, the more often I gift myself with that special consideration any day of the week, for no reason at all except that I feel good when I tend lovingly to my body/temple and my self and my daily experience.  It takes so little but it pays huge dividends.

Whether I am wearing jogging clothes or crisp ironed shirts:

• I wear great underwear
• I try to keep my hair updated and fresh
• I’ll put on eyeliner (it’s the only makeup I wear)
• I take my vitamins/supplements every day
• I exercise

Whether we are eating a beautiful Sunday dinner or left overs on a week day:

• I light a candle and set the table with place mats and cloth napkins for every meal
• I sit down to eat without distractions
• I practice gratitude and mindfulness for the abundance and quality of food

I am looking forward to hearing what you do to get “all dolled up” in your everyday life… I know you have a lot of expertise and great ideas…

Joyce

The women who come to me for coaching generally have one thing in common.  They realize that they are packing around old emotional baggage and it is negatively affecting the quality of their lives.

How do you know when you are the owner of emotional baggage?  Some possible clues:

• If other people push your buttons… you have the buttons… you have baggage
• If you are angry a lot… you have baggage
• If you cry a lot… you have baggage
• If you feel sorry for yourself…. you have baggage
• If you hold grudges… you have baggage
• If you have resentments… you have baggage
• If you have addictions… you have baggage
• If you feel bad about yourself… you have baggage
• If you have a critical nature… you have baggage

Let’s see… have I left anyone out?  lol… the point is… Baggage is a by-product of growing up… we are imperfect humans, being raised by imperfect humans in an imperfect world.

I have certainly owned my share of emotional baggage in my life.  My suitcases were crammed with stuff that was passed down from my parents… stuff that I had picked up along the way… it was old, it was negative and it was very heavy…

But… and this is the Big But… I opened all the suitcases… inventoried every item… appraised it’s value… trashed what was junk… fixed what was broken… handed back what didn’t even belong to me… and lightened my load…

That’s my definition of personal work… “Doing an Inventory and Doing the Clean Up.”

Note: Dr. Christiane Northrop said in general that the women who struggle a lot emotionally with PMS and Menopause are the ones with unresolved emotional issues.  She says that the hormonal changes that happen at these times in a woman’s life amplify the emotional impact of the issues. The more emotionally clear women are the less they tend to struggle. I agree… based on my own experience and that of the women I support.

I would love you thoughts and feedback.

As always,

Joyce

Let me know if you need some help.  I have walked this path myself and walked beside many others as well.

Contact Joyce