Joyce Lee Life Coaching Moment

I was a queen in the kingdom of Emotional Turmoil.

Emotional Turmoil:  a recovery term meaning

• the junk talk of your Inner Critic,
• the sinking feeling in your heart that something is wrong
• the constant unrest inside,
• the going over and over and over your problems
• the monkey on your back
• waking up feeling uneasy
• physical symptoms associated with emotional causes (blood pressure, stress, anxiety etc…)

Oh… I knew these well… my inner self was in turmoil although I had many, many blessings in my life…  there was a disconnect between my blessings and my feelings of self worth and esteem.

If you identify yourself as having Emotional Turmoil, please know that you can change… you probably have some inner personal growth work to do:

• cleaning up the debris from your past
• forgiving who needs to be forgiven, even your Self
• quitting any whining and victim behaviors
• resolving what needs to be resolved
• taking responsibility for the quality of your life
• getting out of the passenger’s seat and sitting behind the driver’s wheel of your life
• intending to claim your power
• doing your work
• deciding that you came here to be happy because it’s waiting for you
• asking for help…
• educating yourself in the language of personal development

Taking my head out of the sand, gathering up my courage and finding the willingness to experience a new way of living my life was a huge challenge… no doubt about it… but I did it… many women I know did it and many are doing it right now…

So, if this resonates with you and you know that feeling of inner turmoil… and are at the crossroads of doing what you have always done or rolling your sleeves up and doing it differently… know that you don’t have to do it alone… everyone can benefit from help…

I don’t usually promote my private coaching but in this case, I invite you to contact me if you want support getting started on your path of change… I have developed several ways to coach/support clients.  Helping women refocus and start waking up happy by using the Law of Attraction is my specialty…  my email is info@joyceleelifecoach.com

Life is supposed to be joyful… it is a complete waste of time to suffer…

Wishing you wellness… inner and outer… today and always…

Joyce

The Law of Attraction states that you get what you focus on whether you want it or not.

Ever notice how the more we ’stew’ about a problem, the more we stay stuck in it, and once we start to think solution, possibilities, we become unstuck?  It took me years and years to figure this out…

I spent years yearning for a slim body but focused on everything I didn’t like about my obese body…

If we continue to keep our attention on what we don’t want or like, we are essentially sending out a universal invitation for more of the same.

• I couldn’t attract slim when focused on fat
• We can’t attract abundance if we are focused on lack.
• We  can’t attract wellness if we are focused on illness.
• We  can’t attract happiness if we are focused on feeling bad.
• We  can’t attract inner peace if we are focused on criticism and blame.

So, what are you focused on today?  This moment?  Is your focus going to bring you what you want?

All positive change begins with a positive shift in perspective.

• What do we want?
• How would it feel to get what we want?

Don’t do things bass ackwards… you won’t like what you keep manifesting…

Sometimes I get taken aback by the bigness of people’s lives and the struggles they face on a daily basis.  How do you use the Law of Attraction when you are in the middle of a difficult reality?… How do you change when you are limited by circumstances beyond your control?  Where is the hope when things seem hopeless?

Lisa sent this reply to my last post entitled Thoughts on Food and Food for Thought.  I am going to offer this to our counsel of loving, strong and wise women and we will wrap Lisa in our loving support.  No one is alone… all you have to do is reach out… there are women all over the world who have your best in their hearts…

Lisa wrote:

“I had a horrible car accident not my fault 2 yrs ago, the culprit died with  no insurance  nothing,,I have tried to survive after being out of work for 9 months raising 3 small children, with a deadbeat dad..I am struggling trying to feed everyone,and macaroni and cheese is our food…I am very depressed, cannot excercise because of metal rods in my legs and crushed foot..my weight is now 275 lbs or so..I am so so depressed, please can anyone lift me up ?…and give me a boost ?..I work 12 hours shift at a hospital (unit clerk)…thank you..”

I’ll go first:

Good morning Lisa… first of all, thankyou for having the courage to share your story with us.  It can’t be easy to get up every day and do what you need to do for your children when you are feeling so heavily burdened… Here’s a hug to start this day… (((((((Lisa/Joyce)))))).

I don’t have your answers, but I want to share what I know from my own experiences and from what others have shared with me.  You have told us:

• You have small children to raise until they are adults
• You have physical limitations on what you are able to do

So… when a situation is what a situation is… the question becomes how are you going to walk through it?  As a woman of power or as a woman who sees herself as a victim?  There is a huge difference in the perspectives…

• Those girls could have lost you completely… thank the Powers That Be, that you are still here to model how to be a strong woman.  That’s your job description.  Whether it’s fair or not… you need to reclaim your power for both your sake and for theirs too… they are watching you.
• There are always small steps that can be taken that will feel empowering.  I am not going to tell you what to do but I will ask… what do you do/can you do on a daily basis that moves you forward?  What are your internal resources?
• There are external resources available to help with self esteem issues… for starters I recommend an online support group for your weight/health issues… it only takes a minute to check in online let someone reach out and hold your hand.  Go to Yahoo Groups and look at the huge lists… find one that is speaking your language… and connect. (I used to be as heavy if not heavier than you are now, and I have been connected to my online support group for 10 years or so… I still connect at least 5 times a week, it’s how I stay well)

Lisa, I am sending you unconditional love today… I will light a candle for you and hope that you keep reaching deep within yourself to that place of power and put your focus on strength and growth and happy…

Because what I know is this:

Change the inside and the outside has to change to keep up…

Brightest Blessings to you.

Joyce

I think the friendships I hold near and dear to my heart help to define me. I have heard it said that we are the average of the 5 friends we spend the most time with.  I really thought about that…

I love the 5 friends that I spend the most time with and am proud to be the average of them…

Friendships are like tapestries… woven of individual strands of texture and color, they show us the quality of our self esteem and self confidence.  Friends should bring out the best in us and we should help them glow as well…

The picture was taken at my 50th birthday party last year… these are some of my closest women friends… smart, confident and fun women (that’s me with my smart, confident and fun horse nibbling my hat:)) … I am honored to be their friend…

• Have you ever asked your friends how they would describe you?
• Are you aware of the roles each of you play in the relationship?
• What do you bring to the table?

If you want to read the complete article I wrote on this topic  make sure you are subscribed to Notes to Self, my bi-weekly newsletter… there is a little sign up box right here on this page… the issue comes out tomorrow, May 12…

In friendship…

How many partially read ‘self-improvement’ books do you own, how many journals have you started only to put down and not pick up again?

I have come to realize that on the days I consciously spend time on prayer, some form of meditation and personal reflection, I feel good.  On the days that I neglect my inner peace, I don’t feel as great.  I don’t have the same grounding, the same focus… I become focused on what is happening ‘out there’ rather than ‘in here‘.

Just as staying fit physically requires determination and discipline, so too does staying spiritually and emotionally fit.  Very little is gained if you approach either on a haphazard basis.

“Regular” means habitual, routine, normal, established.  Like any lifestyle change, the best way to approach your inner work, is to keep it simple and to keep doing it.

You really don’t need to own every self-help book on the market all at once.  Keep it about quality rather than quantity… better one or two dearly loved and deeply relevant volumes with bookmarks, dog ears, highlighter and notes all over than dozens and dozens of books that have barely been glanced at…Read only those that truly resonate with you, put a ribbon around the others and either give them away or put them on a shelf and just let them be.  Keep it simple and keep it powerful.

Allow your journal to be a companion for daily self-reflection and exploration.  Create a beautiful space and a quiet time for this wonderful journey.

Make your inner journey enjoyable… it is enjoyable… you deserve quality time with yourself… the more connected you feel with your self, the richer your ‘out there’ experience will be…

trust me on this…

Hmmmm…. what should I attract today?  Should I attract worry?  If I want that, maybe I should listen to the news all day… let it sink in… yup, that would do it… I would get bummed out…

Should I attract pissy?  If I want to do that, maybe I could talk to people about how bad things are going in the world right now… I could share some of the stories that made me worried when I listened to the news… yeah… that would work…

Naaaa…. I think I’ll go with happy instead… I’ll notice what is right in my world…See what happens…

• the sun is shining
• the geese have returned, welcome… welcome…
• I have a lovely home filled with conveniences and comfort
• I have a strong and supportive life partner who loves me
• I am deeply connected to my Higher Power
• My pantry is filled with nourishing foods
• My riding season has arrived
  
• I have the freedom to go anywhere I want today
• My friends and family are grounded and healthy
• I have abundance to share
• I have lots of inspiration to create beauty
• My underwear drawer is full
• I am inspired to make a difference in the world
• My heart is open and loving

Hmmm… I wonder what I will attract today?

I will get what I focus on whether I want it or not…

think > feel > vibrate > attract.

And you?  Are you taking responsibility for your attraction today?

I got a letter from a woman who asked me how to go about finding Spirituality.

She said she thought her life would be greatly enhanced if she believed in a Higher Power but she didn’t know where to start. She admitted to having reservations based on negative experiences in her family of origin.

Dear Marie Claire,

Don’t worry because you haven’t fully discovered your spirituality yet.  If you are ready to explore, you will find your very own, intensely personal relationship with the Beloved.

There is no right way or wrong way…  there is only your way.

Take your time, create your own pace.   I am excited for you.  You are about to embark on a wonderful journey.   Who knows what you will find?  Your Spiritual understanding is bound to be as unique as you are.

All around you are wonderful examples of people with deeply satisfying spiritual relationships.  The flavors and textures are as varied as the people themselves.  The book stores are filled with Spiritual teachings from our culture as well as other cultures around the world…. and there are churches of varied faiths in every community.  The internet is rich beyond words with people gathering in fellowship to practice and explore their spirituality.

Once you open yourself to the journey,  you will find divine inspiration everywhere that will keep moving you along.  The important thing is getting started.

So, if you would like to start your Spiritual Quest, I offer the following thoughts and questions for your consideration.
Reflect on what each means to you.  Go into as much depth as you are able to.  Think about it, talk about it…

• What was the spiritual environment like as I grew up?  What messages did I get from my parents? My community?
• Do the messages still fit me?  Would I like to say “No, Thank you” to any?
• What is my understanding of Higher Power?
• How do I want to feel when I am spiritually connected?
• What are some of the spiritual belief systems that I might like to explore?
• What words am I most comfortable with when referring to my spirituality?
• What is my current spiritual practice?
• What are areas that I would like to explore and develop in my spiritual relationship?
• What spiritual lessons am I currently involved in?
• What are the questions I want to ask about faith and spirituality?
• Is there anything that makes me uncomfortable when I think/talk about Higher Power?
• What spiritual support do I have access to?  Which friends might enjoy spiritual conversations?
• What topics might I like to examine with a friend?
• What does the term “Spiritual Awakening” mean to me?

These prompts are designed to take you deeper into your understanding of your own personal relationship with Higher Power.
The more time you spend exploring this relationship, the better your understanding of self and purpose you will gain.  Your life will take on an inner glow and you will cherish the opportunity to spend connecting with your Beloved Creator.

Please remember that this belongs to you…

Nancy is struggling with maintaining a positive attitude in the middle of a negative home environment with the people she loves… she is asking for help…

I would like to offer some thoughts and insight into how the Law of Attraction applies and we’ll take it from there…

Thoughts and Insights:

• We get what we focus on whether we want it or not… so if the normal environment in our home is negative and we spend a lot of time pushing against each other, we will feel frustrated or angry and vibrate frustrated and angry and attract more to be frustrated and angry about… think > feel > vibrate > attract
• We cant change anyone else. We all know that… but we need to accept it… we can’t change anyone else, or create in their reality… it is a waste of energy.  bummer eh?
• No one else can change us or create in our reality either… We are 100% responsible for our personal vibration… If we want to change, we must change what we spend our time thinking about…
• What would inner peace look like? Just suppose no-one else changes, and just suppose that we choose to stay in the same environment… what would we like to feel like on a daily basis?…. hmmm….
• What kind of focus would we need in order to feel inner peace? Now that we are deliberately taking our focus off our problems, and the negativity of others, what are we going to put our focus on?
• The more time we spend working on our self, our positive attitude, our positive self image…. we change… when we change on the inside, things change on the outside…

Ok…. NOW we are getting somewhere…  So… it all comes down to being about me… me… me….

• My focus, my inner peace…my many blessings…
• What do I love… what am I grateful for?
• How spiritually fit am I?
• What inner work do I need to do?
• Where is my journal?
• How do I look after myself?
• How do I treat me?
• What do I want?
• I want to spend time with positive people
• I want to stop talking about problems, stop giving them attention

So… these are some quick insights to the process of inner peace… In my humble opinion… it really is all about you Nancy… Just take your focus off of the inner peace of others and put it on the inner peace of your self…  see what happens…

You were born to be happy… you deserve to be happy… it is never too late to change your life…

I intend that ‘Happy’ is the way I want to go through this one and only life as me. From the spirit of happiness, all manner of wonders appear… feeling happy feels good.

I used to think that happiness was something that ‘just happened’ randomly… but in the past years, I realize that I have complete control over my happiness because I have complete control over my thoughts…

With my internal compass set on ‘True Happy’, I notice and even bring out the best in ever situation and person I meet.  Each moment is another opportunity for me to choose happy or not happy…With each encounter I can choose:

• to point out the flaws or point out the blessings
• to stew about problems or think about solutions
• to listen to my inner critic or listen to my higher self

This isn’t fluff stuff… with this mindset, I have lost and kept off a tremendous amount of weight for over 3 years, enjoy each and every day, have a great relationship with my Higher Power,  the woman in the mirror, the man in my bed and the whole world in general… as my mom used to say: “the proof is in the pudding.”

To that end (happiness) I am willing to resolve, settle, forgive, heal, let go of anything that keeps me stuck in ‘unhappy‘.

What about you?  What do you think?

Repeat after me:  I am beautiful!  I am beautiful just because I am.  I am beautiful because I am a woman.  I am beautiful because I am soft and warm.  I am beautiful to me!

We have been raised in a culture that does not support us feeling good enough and beautiful unless we fit some whacked out description of what is acceptable in the media.

I’ve never in my life fit the media’s perception of beauty.  I happen to be big boned which disqualified me right at the start.  Top that off with a life long struggle with disordered eating and the subsequent excess weight and I would have choked on those words…

Now… at 50… I am healthy, I have long since released the excess weight but have hung onto the baggy and droopy bits… I have wrinkles, and lots of grey hair… and gravity is not my friend… ))

And yet… I can stand in front of a full length mirror wearing only my birthday suit, look myself full on and appreciate my beauty.

I don’t think beauty has much at all to do with the wrapping… it is the whole package… beauty is a delight of all the senses… It’s an honest smile, an open face, a love of life… an inside job…

Isn’t it?

What do you think?