Joyce Lee Life Coaching Moment

I was looking at some family photos the other day and was struck by my physical resemblance to a grandmother I had never met.  A woman with the same strong face and body type.  It made me realize how much I physically take after my father’s side of the family while other siblings resemble my mother’s.

We are a living legacy to our ancestors.  Our Aunt Elizabeth’s dimple, Great Grandmas thick curly hair,  Nana’s strong hands, Mom’s beautiful eyes and easy laughter…

One of my daydreams involves walking past a field in Eastern Europe a few hundred years ago, seeing a woman bent over harvesting something, calling her name and when she looks up… seeing my own face.  I am the sum of the women  who walked before me… the face I see in the mirror is a reflection of the woman who are/were my mothers…

I am proud to stand as the woman I am… the woman of my line…

Look at yourself in the mirror and see your lineage.  Who do you see?  When I look at you and get to know you… who are the women behind you?

Good Morning,

I like to imagine myself standing in the center of the wheel of my life.  I envision a strand of soft, fine, golden silk connecting me to each aspect of my life.

My ideal is smooth, soft and strong connections… If and when I notice a knot, or kink or fray in one of the strands, it is an indication to me that I need to attend and do what I can to return the connection to harmony and peace and flowing energy.

What about when a situation is beyond our control?

I was talking to a good friend about this and the topic of how best to deal with a negative person or circumstance that is beyond our control…

My friend Tara,  (little yoda that she is…) said… “Well… all we can do is make sure that our side of the strand is clear… if there is knots, let them be on  the other end”…  that was the perfect addition to my life metaphor… at the very least, keeping my side of the strand smooth and strong and flowing…  accepting that I have no control over the other end…

So for example…  if I have a person in my life that is important to me, yet for whatever reasons, she/he is problematic, the only thing I can do is have healthy boundaries, clear communications and make sure I am in a place of personal integrity.  Be my best, expect the best, and let go of the outcome.

What do you think?  Does this metaphor work for you?  Are your strands of silk lovely and clear and smooth and strong and fine and golden?

Please leave your comments for others to enjoy and respond…

Joyce

Good Morning…

I have been talking with my clients about focus.  Personally, I have become extremely conscientious about the quality of my focus… the quality of  my energy… the quality of my life.

The following is a condensed version of a tongue and cheek article I wrote about energy.  I hope you enjoy it…

Here’s a thought to wake you up….

Think of the universe giving you a large sum, say…. $500.00 ‘Energy Bucks’ each morning to do with whatever you want…  yippee!

But… just like interest payments on money you owe… it costs you ‘Energy Bucks Interest’ to carry forward old ‘energy debt’

Let’s pretend that the Energy Buck Interest payments are:

• old resentments or grudges – $75 a day
• negative thinking/focus $100 a day
• unfinished business $75.00 a day
• criticism or cynicism  $50.00 a day
• worry, fear, doubt  $150 a day…

You could be almost broke before you even get out of bed… sobering isn’t it?

Here’s the thing… the energy bucks you spend by focusing on old and limiting thoughts, are energy bucks that you don’t have access to for other more enjoyable experiences.  You can’t have a negative focus and expect a positive outcome… it just doesn’t work that way…

If you only have a portion of your potential energy available to you… it stands to reason that your:

• spouse is getting short changed
• children get short changed
• work
• self care
• friends etc…

You get the picture…  consider the old saying… “You can’t give what you don’t have”

The only way to have complete access to all your potential energy bucks is to do what it takes to free yourself from bad energy debt… do your inner work, be intentional…

I would love to hear your thoughts… leave a comment for the benefit of others…

Peace and abundance

Joyce

I find hands fascinating…

In my work as a life coach and as a jeweler, I have the occasion to touch and hold many woman’s hands and scrutinize my own in the process.

I think a lot can be learned about a woman from her hands.

• How soft & smooth are they?
• Synthetic nails? Bling? Manicured? Polished? Nail Art?
• Long or short nails?
• Working hands?  Cuts, broken nails, rough skin?
• How are the hands used in communication and self expression?

I have often lamented how raggedy my hands are most of the time.

• Broken nails from putting saddles on horses, hooking up horse trailers, working with wire for jewelry
• Calluses where I hold my pliers
• Cuts, scrapes and burns from wire and tools
• Rough skin from all the horse stuff and wire stuff and gardening stuff
• A touch of tendonitis from the thousands of pieces of jewelry I have twisted
• Dry skin from constant scrubbing requiring copious amounts of hand cream

My lifestyle requires a lot from my hands and they serve well.  They tell a lot of my story. I guess, raggedy as they are…  I like them.

Pretty they most certainly are not.  Strong and capable they most certainly are.

My hands touch and create much beauty… does it get much better than that?

What do your hands say about you?

A whole other topic is the quality of a woman’s handshake.  That really tells a story about a woman’s self confidence… I’ll save that for another blog post…

I remember when my Mom used to get all us kids cleaned up and in our best clothes when there was a special occasion.  The term was “all dolled up”

The older I get, the more often I gift myself with that special consideration any day of the week, for no reason at all except that I feel good when I tend lovingly to my body/temple and my self and my daily experience.  It takes so little but it pays huge dividends.

Whether I am wearing jogging clothes or crisp ironed shirts:

• I wear great underwear
• I try to keep my hair updated and fresh
• I’ll put on eyeliner (it’s the only makeup I wear)
• I take my vitamins/supplements every day
• I exercise

Whether we are eating a beautiful Sunday dinner or left overs on a week day:

• I light a candle and set the table with place mats and cloth napkins for every meal
• I sit down to eat without distractions
• I practice gratitude and mindfulness for the abundance and quality of food

I am looking forward to hearing what you do to get “all dolled up” in your everyday life… I know you have a lot of expertise and great ideas…

Joyce

The women who come to me for coaching generally have one thing in common.  They realize that they are packing around old emotional baggage and it is negatively affecting the quality of their lives.

How do you know when you are the owner of emotional baggage?  Some possible clues:

• If other people push your buttons… you have the buttons… you have baggage
• If you are angry a lot… you have baggage
• If you cry a lot… you have baggage
• If you feel sorry for yourself…. you have baggage
• If you hold grudges… you have baggage
• If you have resentments… you have baggage
• If you have addictions… you have baggage
• If you feel bad about yourself… you have baggage
• If you have a critical nature… you have baggage

Let’s see… have I left anyone out?  lol… the point is… Baggage is a by-product of growing up… we are imperfect humans, being raised by imperfect humans in an imperfect world.

I have certainly owned my share of emotional baggage in my life.  My suitcases were crammed with stuff that was passed down from my parents… stuff that I had picked up along the way… it was old, it was negative and it was very heavy…

But… and this is the Big But… I opened all the suitcases… inventoried every item… appraised it’s value… trashed what was junk… fixed what was broken… handed back what didn’t even belong to me… and lightened my load…

That’s my definition of personal work… “Doing an Inventory and Doing the Clean Up.”

Note: Dr. Christiane Northrop said in general that the women who struggle a lot emotionally with PMS and Menopause are the ones with unresolved emotional issues.  She says that the hormonal changes that happen at these times in a woman’s life amplify the emotional impact of the issues. The more emotionally clear women are the less they tend to struggle. I agree… based on my own experience and that of the women I support.

I would love you thoughts and feedback.

As always,

Joyce

Let me know if you need some help.  I have walked this path myself and walked beside many others as well.

Contact Joyce

For some reason, I had a grumpy day yesterday… could be hormones (smack dab in the middle of menopause), could be the weather (cold, rainy, dark grey day), could be… could be… could be…

What ever the cause… the result was one ‘grumpy’ Joyce… the storm clouds had gathered in my attitude and I saw everything through the lens of grump…

Circumstances that would normally not even be a bump in my usual cheerful path, were causing me to stub my toe… I felt itchy all day…

Now… knowing what I know about focusing on the negative and inviting more in to feel negative about… I pulled a couple of tools from my vast Law of Attraction tool kit and limply waved them around… but I wasn’t in the mood to be cheered up…

My mood wasn’t due to anything serious… I knew that ‘this too shall pass‘… so I just kept my mouth closed for containment.  I wasn’t about to make it worse and have anyone else affected by it.  That is one of the most common mistakes people make.  They inflict upon others.  If you take nothing else away from this story… that is the nugget… Don’t inflict your grumpy mood on anyone else!

Instead, I chose to take care of myself.

• I had a nap on the couch after dinner
• I chose to let the answering machine handle a couple of calls from friends (I wouldn’t have been good company anyway)
• I had a bath
• I went to bed early

The result:

I had a great sleep, today brought a blue sky, I feel refreshed, no harm was done… and no one is the wiser… I have another tool in my toolkit…

The moral of the story:

“Sometimes a grumpy day is just a grumpy day”… no big deal… it feels lousy to be in the middle of one, but they often sort themselves out if they are just left alone.

Own it… take care of yourself and let it go…

However… If there is one after another after another… that’s different… something needs to change, to be resolved…

If you are having grumpy day after grumpy day and want help creating changes… Contact me… I can help you with your tool kit…

Wishing you a lovely day…

Joyce

Good Morning,

I was talking to my good friend yesterday about her struggles with her Mom.  For her own reasons, Mom is highly critical and unnaccepting of my friend.  I have known this friend for almost 15 years and she is bright, accomplished, talented and kind… the kind of daughter I would be proud to have…

My friend’s Mom obviously has her own emotional buttons and baggage that she needs to deal with, however, looking down the road, there doesn’t seem to be any indication that she intends to do any inner work.  My friend just keeps looking for tools to help reach a healthy relationship with her unhealthy Mother…

I know women who are bright, talented, accomplished and loving who:

• really struggle with negative body images
• have eating disorders (various forms)
• drink too much (some to dull the pain, some to dull the passion)
• are control freaks
• have various addictions
• pick lousy partners
• have childish behaviors
• have lives and relationships fraught with conflict

I could go on and on…

What I’ve noticed is this:  We all seem to have one sponsoring issue that weaves itself though our lives…often the origins are deeper than the issue…

For instance:

• My own eating disorder (issue) evolved as a way to cope with the turmoil in my growing up
• A woman may drink too much as a way to numb herself to the disappointment she has in her heart for the lifestyle she feels trapped in
• The control freak may need to have everything perfect in order to feel safe.  Her childhood was chaotic, unpredictable and she never felt safe.  She overcompensates by micro-managing everything and everyone around her
• The woman who picks lousy partners has her own story to tell. Her behavior makes sense too
• The woman who behaves like a child, had an emotional trauma when she was young and got stuck

We are all the logical by-product of our circumstances.  Can we change if we want to?  Absolutely.  My own eating disorder doesn’t run my life anymore.  I’ve done my work… My friend who is a control freak is doing her inner work to trust the universe and loosen her corset a bit… The woman who picks lousy partners is staying out of relationships while she grows her own loving relationship with herself…

So, the moral to this writing is… it’s ok to have issues… we all do… find a non-shaming person or group that allows you to own your story and take responsibility for doing your inner work.  Then like Nike says:  “Just Do It”

Some women never do get around to doing their inner work, to healing, forgiving, changing… some women never access the culture and language of change… that’s their right… we can’t create in someone else’s reality.

“Bless them… change me”  My evolution is my responsibility, yours is yours…

So… what’s your issue?

Note:

If this opens a pocket of awareness for you that seems too big to face alone… I just want you to know, I can help you.  I have years of experience with my own inner work and supporting others in planning theirs.  I can help you make sense of your baggage, plan your path and inner work, walk beside you as you do do your inner work, hold your hand or point you in the right direction if you need support beyond my skills.

If you want to talk to me about specific life issue coaching go to:   http://joyceleelifecoach.com/contact/

Brightest Blessings to you on your path… you are obviously taking responsibility for your happiness or you wouldn’t be reading this… ))

Joyce

Developing a Health Body Image seems to be a perennial topic.  Many of the women I talk to are either struggling with or hoping to cultivate a more positive body image.

So…

• How are you feeling about your body this week?
• How are you feeling about your body today?

When was the last time you set an intention to ditch your mean inner critic, and adopt a kinder and gentler way of talking to yourself.  Have you looked in the mirror today yet and smiled at the beautiful woman looking back?  Do you see yourself in a photograph and love your body/temple?

Loving yourself is a daily… sometimes hourly… heck, sometimes moment by moment decision… It is so easy to drift away from a positive intention and revert back to the familiar… even when the familiar is self-abusive…

I am lighting my morning candle for you and your positive relationship with your body image today… When you love yourself, all manner of goodness will flow to you… open your self… open your heart and allow….

open and allowing… it doesn’t get better than that…

Enjoy your body today… be grateful for your physical blessings… treat her well… feed her health-full foods, give her enough water to drink, let her rest, let her move and be active…

Namaste

Want some support as you walk towards the self-loving body image you yearn for?  My new ebook, Intimate Time With The Woman In The Mirror: the essential creative journal companion, has a whole section of relfective journal prompts to help you shift your perspective to one of appreciation and gratitude and possibility…

You can order the ebook at http://joyceleelifecoach.com/intimate-time/

PS:  I have a lot of experience with cultivating a positive body image.  As a Empowerment Life Coach, I can help you if you are ready to start loving your self, and your body/temple.

Contact me for a short complimentary discovery session.

It’s Monday… (I can hear the moaning already…)

Whatever you do with your day, you are serving. Whether you are cleaning rooms in a hotel, or are an executive director somewhere, people will be affected by what you do.  People will also be affected by the energy you put out as you do it.

How can I serve?

• A job done with a willing and generous spirit carries positive energy.
• A job done grudgingly or with apathy carries negative energy.

You add positive, apathetic, or negative energy to the world each time you act.

Make sure you put positive loving energy into your service today.  It really does matter…

Just start with feeling good yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  Be mindfully grateful for your many blessings… get your self revved up about another opportunity to experience this wonderful life you have been gifted with.

Isn’t that a better deal than moaning your way through the day?

Perk yourself up vibrationally, decide to have a positive interaction with everyone you come into contact with today.  Decide to focus of happy thoughts… sounds like a cliche but it holds true…

I’m serving with love today.

Tootles…

Joyce Lee